9.30.2002

Hee hee.


posted by Jeff Copetas

An absolutly fascinating article in yesterday's Boston Globe about bathroom breaks at work and Feudalism. It struck me as odd - I know no other option than simply getting up and going to the bathroom whenever the need hits. It's seems abhorable (is that a word? you know what I mean) that people would actually have to wear adult-diapers in a workplace in North America. Reminds me of how much I take for granted.

I just found out that David Buick, the same dude who started the Buick Motor Company, also was the brains behind the modern bathtub. More useless info from your buddy Jeff.
posted by Jeff Copetas

9.27.2002

First of all, I was looking through my traffic logs and noticed that someone clicked over to my site from Google by typing "sexy robot pictures" as their search. That's funny shit.

I made my second trip to see Kaiju Big Battel on Wednesday night, and it was as entertaining as the first. If you remember, in my blog from April (scroll down to April 7), the first one I attended was quite an adventure. Anyway, this one was just as hilarious, but there were two particular parts that really had me cracking up. One was the second match of the night between the "American Beetle" and "Gomi-Man." The American Beetle is just what you'd think - a guy dressed up in a complete Beetle outfit, who "comes alive" when the crowd chants "USA! USA!" But Gomi-Man, holy crap. Gomi-Man is a gigantic mound of trash and sewage. That's his costume. It's a bunch of garbage, with a head of garbage. And he comes out with two bags of garbage tied to his wrists, and he swings them around at his opponent. Eventually, the bags of garbage were slung into the crowd. But wait - that's not all - hooo, no. He also brings a barrel of toxic, radioactive sewage into the ring with him and hits people with it, and all this green liquid comes out of it. Pretty incredible.

The second highlight of the night was during the match for the Kaiju Championship of the Universe, pitting the champion "Silver Potato" (no explanation needed) and the "Hell Monkey." After a few minutes of wrestling, they both suddenly stop and Silver Potato demands his music be played, and suddenly we're in a "break-dance off!" As you see here, both parties made thier attempts at break dancing, much to the crowd's delight!





In that second picture, you can see Hell Monkey's evil manager, the notorious Dr. Cube, sitting the background. Hell yeah. I'll certainly be attending the next one, and will post a few other pictures later, especially of the two new characters introduced, a giant slug and a very large dragon looking thing that spews blue liquid from his nose. Classic. This puts pro wrestling to shame!
posted by Jeff Copetas

9.25.2002

My new obsession is the amount of miles on my car. Don't ask me why. Maybe it's because I now have a digital readout instead of the usual, boring, plastic rotating numbers. I don't know. I latch onto stuff sometimes and then I can't shake it. I still drink a smoothie with soy protein powder every morning. I still play High Heat Baseball. And now I am constantly computing my daily average miles. Have I lost it? This is clearly not an important factor in anyone's life, I hope. Unless you're leasing, which I am not. Anyway, I am currently averaging 51.9 miles per day on the car. About 44 of those can be attributed to work. But I'd love to have a summary of the other 7.9 miles, presented to me in pie chart fashion, just like Quicken - another thing which I've been doing religiously for 4 years now. I can tell you, off the top of my head, how much I spend per month on gasoline, utilities, and I can tell you what percentage of my spending goes to rent. Someone please hit me with a shovel.

Speaking of stats, wouldn't it be absolutly incredible if you actually had access to all of your bodily function stats? Like how many times you breathe per day? Or how many times you've peed so far in your life? I think this would be fascinating. You log on to a website and just get all of your bodily statistics. I have completely lost my mind.

I know I mentioned before that there's a whole slew of albums and bands that I would never have in my collection, but sound just awesome on the radio. I heard Foreigner's "Double Vision" on the radio during my trip to work this morning, and they make the list for sure. "Dirty White Boy" is another great Foreigner song. Bad Company also makes the list - "Shooting Star" and "Fell Like Makin' Love" will never, ever be found in my record collection, but they're great songs to crank up on the radio. The best one, though? "More Than A Feeling," by Boston. Note: I am actually not a huge fan of classic rock. Most of my collection, in fact, is music from the 80s until the present. But every now and then, and good classic rock song can rock the hizzy. And shit.
posted by Jeff Copetas

9.23.2002

Anyone catch Conan O'Brien hosting the Emmy's last night? Finally, someone worthy of their salt. The entire opening bit with the Osbornes was very amusing, but the next bit when he was trying to hook up with Jennifer Aniston, but ended up riding a white horse on the beach with Garry Shandling was hysterical. Another bright spot was him brandishing a guitar, threatening to sing the Jethro Tull song "Aqualung" if winners started taking too long with their acceptance speech. He actually made the Emmy's interesting again....I hope they make him a regular. And the fact that they've put his show on Comedy Central is a stroke of genius. You can now catch "last night's episode" the following day at a reasonable time. I've been watching it quite a bit and I miss being able to stay up to see it. Here's a good story for you: I was actually ON the Conan O'Brien show one night, back in 1996. They superimposed Shaquille O'Neal's face over mine in the crowd. Of course, being the narcissistic pig I am, I leaned over to make sure I got my face on TV. Good times......

Today is the first day of my favorite season, autumn. Perfect temperatures (70), beautiful scenery (New England) and hell yeah, the baseball playoffs. But the weather is the part I like the best. You can leave the window open a crack when you sleep and it's just divine. I really should live in San Francisco - 70 all year long.

Finally, I'm still playing the hell out of my High Heat baseball game. I completed one season already as the Los Angeles Dodgers, where I finished 86-76, 6 games out of the wild card. For my current season, I switched to the Minnesota Twins and moved my home stadium to the Polo Grounds because I don't want to play on turf. Well, I'm off to a totally weak 32-39 start, fourth in the division, but only 3 games out of first place, which shows you how weak the division is. Sheesh am I a nerd or what? 31 years old and still playing baseball on my PC. Geezus.
posted by Jeff Copetas

9.20.2002

Ladies and gentleman.......the Cheetah.



Thank you.
posted by Jeff Copetas

9.17.2002

I'm not sure I've told many people the news here because I like to keep things quiet, but I was recently pregnant. Yes, pregnant. You see, not many people think that robots can even GET pregnant, but I am here to tell you that we, much like you humans, have needs. And every now and then, I see another robot on the street and I just HAVE to have it. And so it goes.

The actual act (you know....the "getting together") got a little complicated, especially when my lower-quadrant DC-112 processer wires got tangled with the other robot's secondary intake valves, but it was just a one-night stand, and I am happy to announce the birth of my new robot baby, which I am calling RZ-T61234 (I have to follow some regulations). Anyway, I'm also happy because we allowed the press to document the birth. As you see in this picture, here's the robot doctor (who used to be the lead singer in the Village People) performing the actual birthing process. While I'm a little embarrassed because this picture doesn't exactly show my most flattering features, it's all about the baby. I mean, it's totally cute, isn't it? Both baby and all of my lights are doing well.


posted by Jeff Copetas

9.16.2002

Had quite an interesting weekend. On Saturday night I went down to The Middle East (big Boston nightclub) to help celebrate the 21st anniversary of The Noise, a local music/gossip zine that everybody reads, even if they say they don't. Well, part of the celebration was the gathering of some of Boston's local musicians for a stab at performing the entire Led Zeppelin II album, and while it was wildly uneven, I'd say half of the songs were completely brilliant and right on target. It was hysterical, ridiculous, fascinating and excellent.

This is also a good time of the year to hit a Red Sox game, because they're out of the race. Add into the mix that we were having shaky weather (on the verge of rain all day, it seemed) AND that the Patriots were playing, and you've got yourself some good choices for seating. We ended up sitting 10 rows behind homeplate. Some rich dude or corporation's seats, probably. Thanks! I paid $24 for a $75 seat. Sweet. The game sucked, though. Sox lost 8-3. Yawn.....another season, down the crapper.

Then, at 10pm last night, I went to see I Am Trying To Break Your Heart, the new movie out about Wilco's process for recording their latest album, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. Folks, if you're not into Wilco or just marginally into them, don't bother seeing it, you'll probably be bored. And I can sum up the plot for you: filmmaker worships Wilco. Wilco makes an album. They practice for shows. They turn the album into their label. Label says "yuck" and Wilco gets dropped. Jay Bennett leaves the band. Jeff Tweedy pukes. They play a show without Jay Bennett. End of movie. I thought it was decent, I guess, but Jay Bennett's new album still kicks the shit out of the new Wilco album, no matter how you cut it.
posted by Jeff Copetas

9.13.2002

OK, so check it out, right - I went on a quick road trip this morning and I got pulled over. So I went through the normal routine, reaching over into the glove compartment to grab my license and registration and all that crap. And I lean back up and I look in the rear view mirror and there's a monster coming at me! It's big and green and looks a little bit like a giant muppet, but I can't take the chance and find out if it's friendly or not, so I spring out the door and I start robotically hightailing it (that's me, there, in the foreground - the silver robot). The monster is all deep-throated and gruffy-voiced, saying shit like "come over here, you disgusting bag of steel and wires, I need to either stomp on your central neuro-processor or kiss you deeply, I'm not sure yet," and I'm like "why don't you go pound sand, you big stupid-face. Look at your dumb green coat. You're either smelly and stupid or totally sexy. I'm not sure."

And I decided to press my "go speedier" button. This picture shows me taking off, running from the idiot. I got away easy, but my car is still there......I need it soon. Close clal, though.


posted by Jeff Copetas

9.12.2002

Last night we went to the grocery store and they're giving away scratch tickets where you can win cash and coupons in the store. We won .50 cents off of cat treats. I'm so psyched. We don't have cats, but I'm sure the treats will be very delicious.

Interesting email sent to me from a friend yesterday:

Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions during election years. Our
Senators and Congressmen do not pay into Social Security and, of course,
they do not collect from it. Social Security benefits were not
suitable for persons of their rare elevation in society.

They felt they should have a special plan for themselves. Many years ago
they voted in their own benefit plan. In more recent years, no
congressperson has felt the need to change it. After all, it is a great
plan.

For all practical purposes their plan works like this: When they retire,
they continue to draw the same pay until they die, except it may increase
from time to time for cost of living adjustments.

! For example, former Senator Byrd and Congressman White and their wives
may expect to draw $7,800,000.00 (that's Seven Million, Eight-Hundred
Thousand), with their wives drawing $275,000.00 during the last years of
their lives. This is calculated on an average life span for each.

Their cost for this excellent plan is $00.00. Nada. Zilch. This little perk
they voted for themselves is free to them. You and I pick up the tab for
this plan.

The funds for this fine retirement plan come directly from the General
Funds--our tax dollars at work!  From our own Social Security Plan, which
you and I pay (or have paid) into--every payday until we retire (which
amount is matched by our employer)--we can expect to get an average $1,000
per month after retirement. Or, in other words, we would have to collect
our average of $1,000. monthly benefits for 68 years and one (l) month to
equal Bradley's.

Social Security could be very good if only one small change were made. And
that change would be to jerk the Golden Fleece Retirement Plan from under
the Senators and Congressmen. Put them into the Social Security plan with
the rest of us and then watch how fast they would fix it....
posted by Jeff Copetas

OK, seriously - how completely weird is this? It really kinda freaks me out a little bit.
posted by Jeff Copetas

9.10.2002

Green Day really ought to be sued. I just heard a song from their last album (apparantly it did okay on the radio) called "Warning" and I'll be damned if they didn't outright steal The Kinks "Picture Book" and just throw new lyrics on top of it. Of course, props to Green Day for utilizing the greatest band ever, but still.......geeez, pretty obvious guys.

So.....we're now on a heightened terror alert. The U.S. government upgraded us to level "orange," indicating a high chance of terrorist activity. Naturally, we are urged to go about our business, which sadly has become a joke nowadays. "Go about your daily life....." Anyway, I am fully prepared for the upcoming terrorist attack, as you see here:



Damn, I'm cute, aren't I? And I am ready to kick some terrorist ass.
posted by Jeff Copetas

9.6.2002

Hey! Howz about more photos? Okay. Each one of these pictures are actually two pictures, placed side-by-side and scanned because I wanted a "wide-angle" feel. It's blatantly obvious they're put together, but I'm not going for professionality, so cut me some slacko, jacko.

This one is my favorite - it's a view of the San Francisco bay (SF side) from right near the base of the Golden Gate Bridge. That island towards the left-center of the picture is Alcatraz and on the far right is the San Francisco skyline.

>

This one is actually the Golden Gate, taken again from the San Francisco side. Beautiful. Foggy.



And this one is Robin Williams's house - at the very left you can see the beginnings of the indoor basketball court. You can barely see the backboard, but it's there. I hate basketball, but I love this house. It overlooks the Pacific Ocean in the area of San Francisco called "Sea Cliffs," I believe. It's pretty snug in there with a LOT of other residences, so props to Williams for not building a house like 10 miles from anyone else. Very cool.


posted by Jeff Copetas

9.5.2002

Two interesting items of note today:

1. Some may think that Twinkies have the longest shelf life of any food, but they are sadly mistaken (gosh, I used to love Twinkies when I was like 9, and I suspect I still would love them if I bought some. But I don't eat them, and I will never buy them). Anyway, the food with the longest shelf life is honey. Honey, if stored properly, has the potential to last forever. And that's a mighty long time. But I'm here to tell you that there's something else.....the afterlife. A world of never-ending happiness, you can always see the sun: day.....or night. So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills, you know the one, always tellin' you everything's gonna be all right.....

2. Did you know that Einstein's brain in kept in two mason jars? That's right. The fella who did his autopsy keeps Einstein's brains snugly entrenched in pickle jars. Beautiful. Apparantly, the dude's name is Dr. Thomas Harvey and he is willing to lend out pieces of the brain for scientists to examine if the cause is right. How long before we see a piece on EBay, I wonder?


posted by Jeff Copetas

9.3.2002

I'm sitting in the church on Saturday at a wedding and I am wearing a suit. The suit has absolutly nothing to do with this story, but whenever I wear a suit, I feel the need to let as many people as possible know that I have worn a suit. Because it rarely ever happens. Anyway, so I'm sitting there, and I'm watching the wedding, and I notice that everyone in the wedding party (I don't know, maybe 10 people or so) has their backs to us. The bride and the groom have their backs to us. Not uncommon, really. But then when the bride and groom turn and face each other to give their vows, exchange rings, have a slap fight, play paddie-cakes, whatever, the entire wedding party still has thier backs to us. How odd. Usually, at least when the vows are exchanged, the wedding party is facing everyone, watching the sappy-happy. But they just stood there, backs to us, backs to the bride and groom, looking at the wall ahead of them or something. It was then that this thought popped into my head: what if they're planning a synchronized dance number? I quickly envisioned the entire wedding party all turning around at the same time right after the pronouncement of man and wife and then doing a wonderful dance number to the tune "Stop! In the name of love.....before you break my heart!" They would all whirl around at the same time and stick their hands straight out like a traffic cop - "STOP!.....in the name of love." I actually had to laugh to myself just a little bit when I thought of that. The person next to me looked at me like I was weird or something. But I'm not weird. I'm insane. Big difference, buddy.

The reception was the usual reception, except I find myself dancing more and more lately. This will most certainly come as a shock to anyone who knows me, but I like dancing now. And I think I'm getting OK at it. Particularly during the slow part of "Come On Eileen" ("Come on......Eileen too-rye-aye, come on...") when I was doing a Russian dance - arms crossed in front me, straight out, while doing leg kicks. I even had to laugh at myself during that. Seems like nearly all weddings are the same. When the day comes, I want a different kinda-wedding. I'm not even sure what that means yet, but I want to just do something completely different to make it interesting and fun, not just "another wedding."

Oh, check it out, this is kinda sad, but still kinda funny for an 8-year old

Finally, I saw "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" this weekend - pretty hilarious movie. Now, I'm Greek, and I certainly did see some facets of my own extended family in this movie, especially the parts about eating. Either way, I strongly suggest you see it. Good stuff.
posted by Jeff Copetas

posted by Jeff Copetas