The assembly of a weight bench. When you're standing there in the store and it's all put together, it seems so simple. It's almost as if there's just two parts and they fit snugly together like one of those old model cars that didn't require glue, just pieces that snap. It's really no wonder they don't display the box you actually buy, including the 1,267 pieces that come inside the box. So the picture here to the left is the first thing I saw when I opened the box and looked at the manual. Initially I thought this was the only page which displayed how to assemble the thing - and immeadiately I wet my pants in fear.

After changing my pants and cleaning up, I discovered that there was - hark - step-by-step instructions further on inside the manual. Whew. After sitting down and finally peering inside the box at the multitude of screws, posts, pads, adjustable beams and bars, I passed out. When I came to, the box was still there and it looked exactly the same as it had before. I stood up, looked away, then I quickly pivoted and turned back, expecting to see less parts in the box. No dice. I settled in for what promised to be an exciting afternoon of assembly. It was noon.

The first thing I did was lay out all the nuts and bolts on a tray I had set up. There were roughly 30 large screws, 20 nuts, 25 washers and 4 spacers. The instructions claimed I needed the help of an additional human and a small rubber hammer, along with two screwdrivers, a ratchet set, a wrench, six camels, two pick-up trucks, Dionne Warwick, a crane and four penguins. As is the case with all instructions, I was determined to ignore as much of it as humanly possible, since most of them are probably 3rd grade classs projects. As it turned out, the instructions were more helpful than anticipated, although I didn't need that small rubber hammer and couldn't figure out for the life of me what it would have been used for, because the instructions never called for it after the initial "here's what you'll need" list. There was probably an occasion or two when I might have needed the assistance of another person, too, but the male chromosome got the best of me there. When I needed another hand, I simply relied on a table or another part of the set to help balance the two 50 pound frames I needed to hold at the same time to get the crossbeam in place. Good times indeed.

So four hours later, after some interesting twists and turns, including having to lubricate two of the bolts with some grease I found in an old can lying around the house that must have been 360 years old, here's the result. As far as weight benches go, this seems like a solid, middle-of-the-road set. It's very swiss-army like, too. A lot of the pads are adjustable, meaning you can change it on the fly: from a normal bench press, you pull the bench up into a seat-like thing, throw some weights on the end and do leg curls. There seems to be, according to the manual, roughly 50 different weightlifting options on this baby. The weights didn't come with it - I was able to acquire the weights when some friends moved to New York City recently. I know one thing - when I move, whoever is moving in here is going to acquire a weight set, 'cause I'm not moving that thing again.

My final thought as I cleaned up was one of total bewilderment at how it was even possible that a weight bench like this could fit into a box that actually fit in the trunk of my car. It just doesn't seem possible. Nor did it seem possible when I opened the manual and saw that drawing at the top of my post. But as more time goes by, I seem to be able to handle these somewhat complex tasks. Ten years ago, I probably would have simply given up on it and either left it in the box or brought it back. But I seem to be developing a certain fiesty-ness when it comes to this stuff and that's a good feeling. Unlike my day job, it only takes hours for there to be a tangible finished product to look at and proudly declare, "I did that." It's a good feeling.

Now I need to figure out how to properly work with electricity, because most of the lights in our house are simply embarassing. That's the next challenge I'll be trying to stare down. Talk to me in 2008.

Song now playing: The Lyres - "Don't Give It Up Now"

I so love Thanksgiving. I don't need to go into details, except to say that I've been able to string together four consecutive days of great holiday leftovers. That kicks so much ass, not to mention a great four-day weekend which saw some interesting events:

- An informal 15th high school reunion. As far as reunions go, this wasn't your standard hotel ballroom-dinner type thing where you had to dress up. It was held at a local pub and sadly, there were no big surprises. I had been hoping we'd see some people that hadn't shown their faces for a long, long time, but that wasn't the case at all. It was mostly whom I thought would show up. That's not bad, either. I get along plenty good with most of the people who were there, but I was dying to see some of the more mysterious characters emerge, just out of sheer curiousity. It's not terribly suprising that they didn't show up, either. So it was, largely, a collection of good people and we had a fine time. Stephanie and I went to high school together, so it was mildly surreal seeing some people putting two-and-two together when they saw or heard we were married now. High school was so freaking weird.

- My wife and I saw Bridget Jones II. Incredibly disappointing and not worth a visit to the theatre. We both liked the first one quite a bit, but I felt like this second one was all about the bling-bling and nothing about writing a good script. Hugh Grant was good, though, playing a sex-crazed wanker.

- I bought and built myself a free-weight bench for weightlifting which encompasses a partial nautilis system. This topic deserves its own entire post, so I'm going to save that process for tomorrow's entry.

- My pinkie finger on my left hand is a disaster right now. I was playing hockey yesterday when some awkwardly-skating idiot caused it. Initially, I didn't think much of it, as adreniline and concentration kept me from really feeling it. But about an hour afterwards, I was actually wondering (aloud) if it might be broken and had visions of waiting 73 hours in the ER. Soon thereafter, it puffed up like a little marshmellow. Except marshmellows don't turn purple and black and a variety of other colors. My wife convinced me it was just a bad bruise. Now it feels all tight and swelled up and it looks like it would simply explode if I stuck it with a pin or something. Oh, and it hurts. Shit.

All told, and despite what you may perceive as a little whining above, I actually had a great weekend. It was great to not be working, of course, and I got to see my family and my wife's family, eat great food, play some video games, listen to some music, shop around and oh, I finally saw the third Lord Of The Rings installment, which was terrific. That movie was made for a home theatre system!

Song now playing: Guided By Voices - "Chasing Heather Crazy"

The winner of this raffle will not only get the goods, they'll also win a trip to Wisconsin to go hunting with this guy. Have fun out there.

If I somehow made it into this contest, I'd be the guy drooling, mute and muttering something about my old math teacher.

New albums coming soon: Spoon, Nada Surf and The Tyde. Good news on all fronts. I'm still kicking around my top 10 albums for 2004 and will post them soon, if I can find 10 albums I liked, that is.

That's all. I've got nothing. Have a happy turkey, turkeys.

Song now playing: Anders Parker - "Innocents"

What is your time worth? The answer, arguably, is impossible to determine. Take for instance, Netflix. For those of you on Mars, Netflix is a genius service where you order DVD's online and they get mailed to you. You can take as long as you want before you watch them, and when you're done, you mail 'em back. No late fees, no shipping charges. I've been a member since June, 2000 and I've never even considered cancelling it. In fact, I just received an email from Netflix that my monthly bill for the service (it's subscription based) is going down. As a sidenote, the email from Netflix tells me that the price is going down because they wanted to do something nice for their customers. Blah! If you believe that, I have a bridge....

What's really going on is probably no different than the auto industry or the computer business - price pressure and competition. There's been rumors of Amazon getting into this space. Walmart and Blockbuster have already dove in, to little or no fanfare. So Netflix may not lose customer, but shareholders are probably breathing a little heavier - they know the margins are getting squeezed.

Anyway, back to my original question - what is your time worth? What is mytime worth? I'm on a Netflix program that allows me to have four movies at a time for basically $18 per month. On average, I'd say Stephanie and I watch 3-4 movies per month. If we were to just go to the local video rental place and rent 3-4 movies per month on DVD at an average price of $3.50 (just a guess on price, someone tell me if I'm wrong), that would be $12.25 per month ($3.50 x 3.5 movies). So I'm dealing with roughly $5 per month in additional cost. However, is paying the extra five bucks worth not having to drive to the store, or worry about watching a movie in "X" time frame so I don't get a late fee? Not to mention the time I save by simply going to my mailbox for pickup or dropoff of a movie. I think it's well worth it. Do you?

Yesterday I attended an AHL hockey game in Worcester, Mass. The AHL is one level below the NHL, which means the AHL is the best hockey you'll see right now, because the NHL is too busy doing their impression of a spoiled rotten brat. Yesterday's game featured the Manchester (NH) Monarchs vs. the Worcester IceCats. The Monarchs won the game 5-4, but there's two other things I'd like to point out here:

1) Going to an AHL game is a hell of a deal. We paid $16 per ticket and had second row, right on the glass. I've probably mentioned this before, but if you don't like hockey or don't think you'll like it, go to one of these games and sit that close. I might even offer to give you your money back if you don't think it's electrifying. I'm talking about the AHL here - not the NHL. If I were the NHL commish, first thing I'd do is shave 10 teams off the league so the NHL could be as exciting to watch again. It's been ten years for me and running now since I've been truly blown away by an NHL game. Anyway, we're lucky up here because we've got several AHL choices in Worcester, Providence, Lowell and Manchester. Good stuff.

2) What the hell got into Worcester, Mass?!?!?! Suddenly there's a bevy of new, modern buildings, restaurants, medical labs and general cleanliness in the downtown area. If they're not careful, they might even start getting people to move there! Heh. Actually, it's beyond me why there's hasn't been more people moving there - the house prices are dirt cheap and it's not that far from Boston anymore, in the commuter's mind. What they need to do, maybe, is run an MBTA high-speed express train straight to Boston. Do they do that? I don't think they do. That might get people there.

By the way, we're going on a month-and-a-half now with no use of our kitchen, with no specific end in sight. I do not recommend this.

On a more serious note, NBC reporter Kevin Sites was witness to last week's incident in Iraq where a Marine appeared to cross the line by shooting an unarmed insurgent in a Mosque. Sites witnessed the incident and reports on his weblog what he saw. Captivating and sad.

Song now playing: Ryan Adams - "To Be Young"

One can only shake their head at Tivo this morning. They announced yesterday an initiative to insert banner-type advertising onto your screen as you fast forward through the TV network commercials. This is wrong on so many levels - look no further than the success of banner ads or pop-up ads on the web. Something like that, delivered via your TV screen, will admittedly be a little less intrusive, but what are their customers going to think?

Tivo started off and had a few years there where I thought there was a possibility they could grow some mindshare and really make a name for themselves, maybe even on par with what Google has done. They took a crzay-great idea and brought it to market and made strides efficiently and quickly. But here's the dirty little secret: their product degrades your picture quality, makes changing channels painful, adds an extra component to your system and now will pop up advertisements. Does this sound like a consumer-centric company now? Uh, no. It's too bad, too, because I often cheer and support small companies that have the ability and potential to fly around behemoth's heads like little gnats. Tivo might still have a shot, but with each passing press release, my doubts continue to grow.

Whoa! I had no idea that Ol' Dirty Bastard died. I honestly don't know much of his music, but I know whenever I saw the dude on TV, he cracked me up.

In my travels on the web, I came across this beautiful nugget:

"In September, a Roanoke (Va.) Times story documented the righteous complaint of Melissa Williamson, 35, that street construction noise outside her home in southeast Roanoke, especially by jackhammers, would have a harmful effect on her unborn child, then two months from term. The published Times story ignited a firestorm of reader mail because it was accompanied by a candid photo of Williamson in her front yard, looking annoyed at the construction mess, but puffing away on a cigarette. [Roanoke Times, 9-27-04]"

So there you go. By the way, did you ever notice that there was an arrow included in the FedEx logo.

Song now playing: Teenage Fanclub - "The Concept"

One thing that makes me feel old sometimes are all these changes they're making to our coins and dollar bills. The theory of time passing us by is always one that fascinates me. At some point in the future, people will look at our money and think about it in the same way that we think about a buffalo nickel today. That's such a minor thing to consider in life, but when you stop and think about it, it's quite powerful. We're all just a small part of the big clock.

On a related note, since the Fed has recently made changes to the ten and the twenty dollar bill, it should come as no surprise that they're also rolling out changes to the five-dollar bill, effective in 2006. The previews have been making the rounds on the news websites:

Yeah, it surprised me, too. I mean, they didn't even ask me. Nonetheless, of course it's an honor to know that someday, 100 years down the road, someone will pick this up and wonder what it was like to live way back in 2004, when money looked this different.

Song now playing: Pink Floyd - "Pigs"

I've been getting pretty excited by the upcoming Nirvana box set, to be released on November 23. Some will see this as Geffen Records and perhaps the rest of the band exploiting what's left in the vaults to try to wring another few million out of the coffers. But maybe not. My guess is that it will be spotty at best, but still a good set to have. I mean, there's a cover of Led Zeppelin's "Heartbreaker." What young, crappy band doesn't give "Heartbreaker" a stab? So I'm expecting a lot of shitty stuff, but isn't that what made Nirvana so good? Their ability to make a mess sound good? We'll see.

The DVD, which comes with the set, is video footage during the late '80s, shot at bassist Kris Noveselic's mother's house. I hope people aren't expecting anything big from that - other than what I anticipate to be a good dose of comedy. In reality, it's some teens practicing punk rock at their mom's house.

Which leads me to last night. I was driving home and Pavement's "Two States" came on the IPod. That's probably my favorite Pavement song. It got me to thinking that when I do a 3x3 comparison between Pavement and Nirvana....

Nirvana:
Bleach
Nevermind
In Utero

Pavement:
Slanted and Enchanted
Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
Wowee Zowee

.....I think I might choose the Pavement records. All six listed are pretty solid listens, but Pavement's messy brilliance might be worth more to me than Nirvana's. I happen to agree wholeheartedly with Cobain's admission that Nirvana is simply the Cheap Trick of the 1990's. Interesting to consider.

Other tidbits:
- Up in Canada, the lack of NHL hockey must really be driving people crazy. They're starting to care about the Canadian Football League.

- Let's hope the dog doesn't hire Tupac or B.I.G.'s bodyguards, right?

- Oh, I can see it now! He jumps out of the ambulance in a leopard-skin spandex one-piece, does the splits in the air, flips his hair and then saves my life.

Song now playing: Mark Lanegan - "Hit The City"

Cue up "Hells Bells." Microsoft has launched its new search technology (doesn't seem to be working right now, though). Earlier this week, I attended the AdTech conference in New York and overheard lots of "corporate white dudes" talking about this. You know the guys - khaki pants, light blue button-down shirts. It cracks me up how much they play the part so well. I mean, they really might as well point and wink to each other across the hall. Obnoxious.

Anyway, one thing I love to do at these things is eavesdrop on conversations. Why not? I'm not really out looking to steal any secret data from anyone, I'm just audibly voyeuristic, I suppose. In fact, I get more joy out of hearing bits and pieces of non-professional conversations. Part of my fascination with sociology.

I have, on occasion in the past, overheard people talking about Ask Jeeves (my employer) and this is very interesting. The level of misinformation out there is simply flummoxing on so many levels. It goes both ways, meaning I've heard people say very disparaging things which are simply not true and other things that make us look quite good that we probably shouldn't get credit for. That's why I love these conferences - many of these folks just have no idea what's going on. I'm probably one of them, but at least I keep my mouth shut and don't act like a know-it-all. It's an upper middle-class romper room.

So what was I talking about? Oh yeah - Microsoft. I managed to catch some rumblings at the conference about MSN turning Google into the next Netscape, i.e., a major internet player reduced to a bit part as a paper mache tree in the sixth grade school play. Not gonna happen, kids. Don't even dream it. Netscape didn't build up the stunning mindshare that Google has in its possession today, nor did they give people something to identify with. Their technology is not their strongest asset at this point. Others can do it, and are. Arguably, some are doing it better. My plumber, for example, who finally showed up yesterday after three weeks of delays, offered up the opinion that he thinks Ask Jeeves is the best engine out there. He said so before I told him where I worked. Anyway, Google's asset lies in people's brains. Microsoft might still have it, but they have it the way Roger Clemens has it - a old war horse who clearly remains capable. There's many others out there who have a healthy head start here - the Mark Prior's of the world, to continue the baseball thread - and those companies are innovating in search, RSS and blogging in ways we can't even imagine right now. Technorati, Bloglines, Pluck - they're all doing some great stuff. So Google, meet Microsoft. Microsoft, Google. Have fun with your press war.

Also, in a not-no-subtle and timely PR move, Google announced today that they have doubled the size of thier index, meaning they now claim they are scanning more of the web. It would have been a better move to just ignore the MSN rollout, really. See my note about romper room.

Oh, goodness! In much more interesting news, I saw the new 2005 Ford Mustang this morning. I saw at the Ford Dealership and I had to stop, get out, and examine it. Whoa Nellie! These things are gonna fly off the lot. They're beautiful cars. I love the whole "let's build it retro" movement with cars these days. It's priced well, too, pretty much no different than a mid-size sedan. Let's hope they've improved the quality of the car, which has taken a beating over the past few years from Consumer forums. It looks really, really nice, but so did Elizabeth Taylor once.

Song now playing: Anders Parker - "Feel The Same"

In New York City again for work. This trip has been a little more special, though. For one, my wife joined me. It's the first time in four years she's been able to join me on a business trip and we've had some nice meals and meandering, not to mention it's grest to get away from a house where you don't have a kitchen (and won't for a while).

Secondly, walking around the city has always been one of my favorite things to do - it sparks my fascination with the human race and gets the fires burning in that small area of my brain where I've stored the 'ol sociology minor from college. Whenever I'm walking back to my hotel from the office or from one place to another, I always try to slow down and look at as many people as I can - their expression, their gait, their overall posture. Everyone's different, of course, and they all undoubtedly have a story I want to hear.

I also walk past old apartment buildings and wonder what ghosts lurk in there. How many stories, lives and one-year leases have come and gone. The tragic, the euphoric, the pathetic. Surely each apartment has seen its share of each. The overused cliche about wanting walls to talk seems to ring a little louder each time I come here. It's too bad they don't have a little "history" book in each of these places like we did with our grade-school textbooks. That way you'd be able to see who lived there, for how long, etc. That would be fascinating.

Anyway, my waxing poetic is a mere sidenote to this post - initially I just wanted to remark that as I walked around the city this week, I couldn't help but break out into a shit-eating grin whenever I saw someone with a Yankee jacket or hat on. It still hasn't really resonated for me what happened this past October, but being here has actually started the process of acceptance - we did it. So there I am, breaking out into an obvious, almost obnoxious grin now whenever I see a Yankee fan on the street. It's so awesome to have that feeling.

Back to the dust of my kitchen tomorrow.

Song now playing: Nada Surf - "Happy Kid"

"I've got the will of the people at my back," President Bush said yesterday, "Let me put it to you this way: I earned capital in the campaign -- political capital -- and now I intend to spend it," Bush said.

This will be my last post about the election. I've never been one to totally obsess about politics or who's running the country, but I must admit this election was the most meaningful for me in my lifetime. While the party I voted for did not win, I don't exactly feel the sense of impending doom that many others seem to be feeling. For example, Roe vs. Wade is not going to be reversed. Come on. We're not going to start three new wars. We're not going to be forced to pray and we're not going to have a financial crisis similar to Argentina.

So I'm quite bummed out, but not ready to move to Canada. All that said, Bush's quote above scares me just a little. We're undoubtedly headed towards more conservative policies and there's not much standing in the way for Bush to push those through. For him to think, though, that he has the will of the people at his back is just laughable. Political capital - maybe a little more accurate, but nearly all of that is on a credit card. Maybe the administration truly doesn't realize the horrific mess they've gotten us into, but the interest rate on that credit card is building and right now, he's only paying the minimum each month. He's got four years to try and fix it. That is one incredible uphill battle, one which only appears to be able to head in two directions, ending up at endpoint: a) a stunning turnaround where all his gambles miraculously payoff or b) exposure as the fraud that everyone thinks he is. I'm hoping for former, but if it's the latter, he may not be an eight-year president (see: Nixon).

An open letter to the world:

Dear World,

We're really sorry. We tried.

Good luck,
Jeff Copetas

Aux portes du sommeil

Ah, Halloween. The innocent joy you see when you open the front door to see 3-foot-tall ghosts or Harry Potter's peeking up at you with widened eyes and then a shy, hopeful plea for candy. Those days are over for me, but it's always fun to see how I might have looked when I was young, prancing around my own neighborhood. Now I'm trying to remember some of my own costumes. I do remember I was Darth Vader once. I was also Elvis once, and I remember that I could feel the vaseline in my hair for days afterwards. Why can't I remember any other costumes, though? Strange. Of course, times have changed dramatically since then - most of the kids we saw were wearing more politically charged costumes like these. Kids today, so smart, so caught up on world events.

OK, so the truth is we didn't get home in time last night to have any trick-or-treaters. We were at a Jewish wedding. I've been to quite a few weddings over the last few years, but I must say this is the first Jewish ceremony I've been to since 1994. I had forgotten just how celebratory these are! Sure, much of it is like any other wedding, but there are some differences - the whole "put the person in a chair and lift them up" thing, for example. If I were the lifted, of course, I'd be postiviely terrfied, but there's nothing better than being the observer to someone else in that chair. They didn't stop at the married couple, either. Brothers, sisters, parents - they all went up while the band belted out that traditional Jewish celebratory song of which I have no solitary clue what the title is. Nonetheles, a good time. As a bonus, I did manage to find a copy of the Red Sox World Series Commemorative Sports Illustrated Issue at the gift shop of the hotel. Apparantly those have been a little difficult to find around these parts. Go figure.

Word has it that the R.E.M. show here in Boston only drew 7,000 to the FleetCenter on Friday night. This blows my mind a bit. For one, this is R.E.M.! Have they really fallen this far down that they can only put half an arena together for their shows? Admittedly, the show was barely publicized here and there was a lot of other things going on - Red Sox, Head of the Charles, Jewish weddings, etc. But 7,000? I've been really digging their new album lately. It's right along the lines of "Automatic for the People." Probably not as a good, but still better than anything they've done in the last few years. 7,000? Kinda makes me feel old. Used to be R.E.M. could pack an arena in their sleep.

The Ashlee Simpson thing is, of course, delightful. I knew it wouldn't be long, too, before the online backlash/satire started. Nothing tickles me more than to see a horrednous and borderline fake, packaged artist expose themself for the fraud they are in a live setting. What equally sad and frustrating though is that it won't change a thing for her. For one, she's set for life. Two, the people who like her and buy her records don't really care. They just want the bubblegum. Brings to mind the old adage, "nobody cares about the labor, they just want to see the baby."

Finally, check out this great message board about potential band names. Some are not for the faint of heart, but most are hilarious. Tip of the hat to Jilly for that one.

Song now playing: Anders Parker - "Innocents" (best album of 2004 so far)