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w11.27.2002 |
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Maybe it's because I'm such a big fan of the NBC show "Ed" or something, but lately I've been thinking if it would be cool or if it would suck to actually own a bowling alley. Of course, it would be nothing like "Ed," I am not nearly gullible enough or stupid enough to think life is anything like a television show, but it does make me wonder. It seems Boston lacks a really hip kind of bowling alley in the Somerville/Cambridge area, and I believe someone could have a shot at succeeding if they were to engage in such an endeavor. There is a pretty large bowling center in Cambridge right on Route 2, but it's dated and kind of cheesy.
So I did some research and it seems that the general consensus is that one would need approximately $1.3 million in financing to get a good solid, hip, mid-sized bowling alley off the ground. I envision this: a bowling alley, maybe 15-20 lanes, all ten-pin, with the best jukebox in town. I'm no braggart, but I do think I could easily put together the best jukebox in town (already have the CD's, in fact). Anyway, I would also have a seperate room that would hold, oh, 50-75 people and I'd use that room for low-decibal bands and I'd have shows start at 7:30 pm. This would be for three purposes: 1) to get people to the bowling alley, obviously, 2) show would be over at 8:30 or 9pm so people could bowl afterwards and 3) so people my age who have to be at work the next morning can get home at a reasonable hour if they just want to see a show. Furthermore, I bet I could get bands who are playing in the clubs later that night to do an acoustic show at that time for a few extra bucks. There are NO clubs that do that in this city. And I know it's all driven by alocohol. Is this a pipe dream? I dunno. Just sounds like something that would work, doesn't it? Please send money.
The Rolling Stones have most certainly become more cartoonish than anything since, oh, 1981, but I've been listening to a lot of their late '70s/early '80s stuff lately and I am so digging it. While clearly not their strongest era, songs like "Heartbreaker," "Emotional Rescue," "Miss You," and especially "Waiting on a Friend" should be given more credit than they seem to be given. Or maybe they are given credit and I just don't realize it. Whatever. My ears itch for some reason today. Like - inside my ears. That's annoying.
posted by
Jeff at 10:03 AM
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w11.25.2002 |
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Because I used to work in the record business and for a while dabbled in running my own record label, I used to get a lot of band promo photos in the mail. Some were usual, some were funny, blah blah. Sometimes, just to fool around, we would "autograph" the photos and write stupid things to friends like "Ron, thanks for the very sensual night. Love - Bob Stevens." And it would be Bob Stevens' promo photo. Sophomoric, stupid - yes, of course. And great fun. Well, the other day I actually received this promo photo and the opportunities for some good 'ol twenty-something humor here are clearly endless......ladies and gentlemen, I give you............MUDVAYNE!
I swear this is a real band. They're actually on Epic Records.
posted by
Jeff at 10:55 AM
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w11.20.2002 |
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Back in the late 1980s, I began my pursuit of higher education at Northeastern University in Boston. As many of you don't know, I left Northeastern in February of 1990, after just two quarters, because the cost of attending this school was just too high and I wanted to get involved more in journalism and mass communications, a degree which I finally secured from the infamous Kent State in the spring of 1994.
What a lot of people don't know, and it's a fact that I like to keep pretty quiet, was the 6 months that I had off between Northeastern and Kent State was spent on tour with the Rolling Stones. Not only did I play guitar, I also played bass and rhythm. What a rush it was to walk on stage and rip into the opening chords of "Satisfaction" (then start the deep bass background, and finally, add some extra chops on rhythm guitar) and see the crowds of 60,000 people or more go hog-wild. I'll never forgot that spring and summer of '90.
posted by
Jeff at 10:08 AM
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w11.18.2002 |
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I saw Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets on its opening night, last Friday. I have a whole slew of observations:
1) First and foremost, the movie itself was just fantastic. I think I may have liked it better than the first one, in fact. Of course, it's largely directed at kids, but there's plenty in there for adults to easily enjoy - excellent monsters, great special effects and an entertaining storyline. Just good 'ol wholesome entertainment.
2) Opening night for a film like this is pretty ridiculous. I went to the 7pm showing, so the loonies weren't there yet, but the theatre was full and we had good seats, thankfully we didn't have to sit in the whiplash seats up front. I also had peanut M&M's - a damn fine snack candy, but no comparison to the mighty Fig Newton, which of course is not sold at concessions. Anyway, when we were walking out after the movie, the line was about a mile long for the 10pm showing and throughout the line you could see goof-balls with lightning bolts on their foreheads and fully-grown adults dressed up as some of the adult characters in the movie like that huge dude with the big-ass beard whose name I've already forgotten - Hoggle-schorts or Wiggle-Rumps or whatever. I don't know. Sheesh. It's a movie, ok? Why get dressed up? Actually, I think I might go see Free Willy when they re-release it and dress up as a lifesize whale.
3) This was the first time that I have ever been to a film where the entire theatre broke out into simultanous, rousing applause before AND after the movie. That was kind of strange. The only other time I've heard applause at a movie was when I saw Alien 2 during high school and Signourney Weaver called the big alien a bitch and then killed it. I think that's how it happened.....
posted by
Jeff at 11:15 AM
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w11.14.2002 |
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Not sure if you've heard the news, but that audio tape recorded by Jeffsama Bin Laden was finally released to the public this week. The tape is nothing more than me singing songs like "Islands In The Stream" and REO Speedwagon's "Take It On The Run." I also make some thinly veiled threats to Barry Manilow that if I ever see him singing "Mandy" on VH-1 again, he'll be in a world of hurt. There seems to be a lot of news articles about the tape, though. In fact, coalition intelligence sources have said they believe the tape is authentic and unedited (duh, of course it is). That view has been reflected privately by U.S. officials. However, Attorney General John Ashcroft said Wednesday the tape was still being analyzed. Have fun! I hope they like my singing. Ashcroft also released the first known picture of Jeffsama:
posted by
Jeff at 3:02 PM
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Click this and tell me that this isn't a brilliant idea! I might have to rip thijs off directly and do it myself, in fact. The only problem is that it would just be me right now. But still, time passing by is something that I think about a lot; how incredible it is when you think about how many different people you've encountered in your lifetime - brief friendships, ex-girlfriends, co-workers.......you know? People you'll never see again, but were a big part of your life at some point. Sometimes I wish I could get in touch with all of them and just see what they're up to. My favorite English teacher from my freshman year at Kent State. A girl that I had a crush on in high school. A kid who used to come over my house and play in the 2nd grade - where are they all? What do they do now? What do they look like? Time just marches on.....and so it goes. Sometimes it just sad to think about........
posted by
Jeff at 10:30 AM
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w11.12.2002 |
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AOL Sucks. My first exposure to the online world was through the computer company NEC. My dad worked there for years and since I also worked there during summers in college, I always had a year-round NEC email address to communicate with people, which I thought was pretty fancy - not many people were "online" in college in the early 90s.
However, my first exposure to the true consumer internet was AOL, and I remember thinking how revolutionary and huge AOL was going to be. Not because it was incredible or anything - it was simply the lowest common denominator for the internet - catering to anyone - a mile-wide and an inch deep, you know? Oh, how I wish I had the money at the time to plow into that stock! I signed onto AOL in the spring of 1994 and by 1997 they were ruling the world. And they were sending out a LOT of free CD-ROM's plugging their service.
Well, today I was in the post office sending some CD's I burned to a friend, and I came across an AOL CD boasting "1025 Hours for Free (first 45 days)!!!!" I hesitated and did the numbers in my head and discovered that 1025 hours is the rough equivilent of 42 days. So to get the maximum benefit of the "1025 free hours," you'd have to be awake for almost 42 straight days. Imagine food & drink companies did this? "Buy One Cake, Get One Free (eat in the first 10 minutes)!" Yeah, what a bunch of tools. AOL sucks.
posted by
Jeff at 3:06 PM
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w11.11.2002 |
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Well, since she decided to open her big fat mouth to Barbara Walters, I guess I'll go public - I am announcing my engagement to Jennifer Lopez. As expected, she will change from "J.Lo" to "J.Co." There is a pre-nuptual agreement in place - if we do end up divorcing, I get to keep my computer baseball game and my Ask Jeeves bobblehead doll. In this picture, you see us on the set of our new movie, which is coming out soon. As you can tell, I've just popped the question to her and I am very freaked out because she said yes.
posted by
Jeff at 4:48 PM
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w11.8.2002 |
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Well, I am your #1 news source, aren't I? The UN has finally given unanimous approval of the language in a new resolution for weapons inspections in Iraq. The statement warns of "serious consequences" if the UN weapons inspectors are not given full access to Iraq. You know what this means, right? It means that no matter what happens, get ready for a military confrontation that puts us, you, your family, and your cats directly in the cross hairs.
I was able to get involved in these discussions to try and bring some peace and stability to the situation, but my efforts were unsucessful. I'm sorry world, I tried, and my efforts were valiant, but when Bush wants war, he wants war and there's nothing we or a robot like me can do. Here you see me in some last minute discussions with Bush and Colin Powell and some other toolboxes I don't know. That's me in the center. Bush had pretty much already made his decision in this photo, the only reason why he's waving everyone off is because I just let out a rather obnoxious and spine-rattling fart and he was all like "okay, asshole, that's the last straw, you are out of here." And I was all like "oh come on, one little fart, man? I mean, you let North Korea get away with having - wait - admitting that they have nuclear weapons!" And Bush was all like "whatever. It shouldn't matter to you what North Korea is up to - they are right next to Minnesota and I don't care much about that part of the country. More importantly, I can't even believe the smell right now! What did you eat for Christ's sake??" All I could do was smile.
posted by
Jeff at 11:01 AM
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w11.6.2002 |
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I've been hearing a lot about The Soundtrack Of Our Lives, another Swedish band that seems to be making a lot of waves in the States lately. I'll need to check them out.
I was present and accounted for at the Verizon Wireless Arena last night for WWF Smackdown. Pretty fun - and funny. It was the first time I'd been to a WWF event since it got really huge - I went once when I was like 9 or 10, but it was old school style. It's strange to actually go because I am so used to the bang-bang-bang atmosphere when it's on TV, but when you're there, they're shooting all kinds of stuff for different TV shows so some guys actually wrestle twice and there's lots of weird silence in between matches, which lasts about five minutes. I always thought that they just kept the matches rolling without any stops like that. Either way, those wrestlers deserve a hell of a lot of credit - their athleticism is just unreal. I actually got in on the action, too - one of the bad guy wrestlers was just cheating so much and I got so incensed about his repeated bending of the rules that I had to jump in and settle it myself with that heel. Here you see me putting the finishing touches on this loser with my much-feared finishing move, "the smily elbow." It was lights out!
posted by
Jeff at 10:28 AM
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w11.5.2002 |
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Well, this makes my week! It turns out that Ryan Adams and Bryan Adams actually share the same birthday - today. Ryan is 27 and Bryan is 43. Oh, the sweet, sweet irony.
I forgot to mention one thing about "The Graduate," the play I saw in New York City over the weekend. Kathleen Turner gets buck naked. Twice. And since I've seen the show twice now, that means I've seen Kathleen Turner naked four times in my life. Not many other people can say that.
My dad and I are going to Manchester, NH tonight to attend a WWF event. How cool is that? That shows my pop-culture versatility, if I may say so myself - one day at a stage production in New York, the next at a professional wrestling event.....
posted by
Jeff at 10:35 AM
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w11.4.2002 |
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Does anyone ever watch Animal Planet? I have two observations to make about Animal Planet.
1. The guy who hosts "Funniest Animal Videos" might be the dorkiest guy I have ever seen on television. Ever. Oh, that's mean, I know. I'm sorry.
2. I am fascinated by Animal Planet. Along with the usual cute baby animals and that crazed Australian guy who hosts The Crocodile Hunter, there's Animal ER, a heart-wrenching show about sick and mangled animals that almost always ends up good in the end. Then there's Animal 911, which documents the lives of the Animal Police as they go about the city busting the ass of people who are mis-treating animals. Let me tell you, anyone who mistreats an animal should be slowly tortured and then made fun of. They should, at least, have thier feelings hurt severely. Or maybe just administer thousands of tiny little cuts on their bodies and throw them into a pool of 100% rubbing alcohol. Crap, I am getting off topic.
So what's my point? Ah, yes. My point. I was in New York City this weekend and had a chance to see the production of "The Graduate" at one of the 4,345 theatres in NYC. After the show, some of the cast members were outside collecting money for a charity and they were getting a decent amount of attention, but it wasn't until Jason Biggs peeked outside a door did everyone go a little batty. I mean, he didn't even step outside, he just peeked out the door, and everyone crowded the door and started flipping out. It was insane. It reminded me of some of the shows on Animal Planet when a pack of hungry lions attack some poor, uncoordinated gazelle or something and there's a huge glutton-fest and all that's left after 37 seconds is a dripping, messy carcass. Wow. I mean, celebrity gawking is cool and all, but seriously? It was strangely primal.
posted by
Jeff at 1:01 PM
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posted by Jeff Copetas
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